My family is a blend of little families. We had my dad's father coming from Colorado, me from Denver or Salt Lake City, and my brother's family from just 2 hours east of our parents.
We used to schedule our holiday celebrations around my brother's custody schedule and our mom's work schedule. When all three of his kids moved in with him, this didn't change. He married a woman with children from her past and we knew there would be more schedules brought into the mix.
With our family blending at every turn, our kids get about 4 holidays each time. By the 3rd turkey, they can't stand the sight or smell of the birds. They usually have Thanksgiving with their mom on Thanksgiving Day, then with their dad on Friday, then with their step-grandparents on Saturday and then with my parents the next weekend my mom was off work. Our family has always extended to include older neighbors and long-time friends that have family far away.
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE this set up.
I usually get to have Thanksgiving Day and weekend with my best friend and her family and then a week later I get Thanksgiving with my family. I loved that we didn't do the Black Friday Sale Dash, we just stayed in our jammies for the entire Friday and eat leftovers any way we wanted. It's AWESOME!
One year my first dog, Bagera, died quietly in the night and the entire Thanksgiving Day my best friend and I were in tears. Not wanting to ruin her kids holiday, we didn't tell them until that evening. I have always been thankful that I was with them when when Bagera died. My dad was generous enough to drive 2 hours to pick up Bagera and take her back to their house so she could be cremated the following Monday. For my dad, this was major. He usually can't be inconvenienced by his children. That was the year I saw something different in my dad. Something worthwhile.
This year things have changed. We have a new baby in the family. The schedule was changed again. We are having ours only a day later and my best friend is traveling across the state to be with her family. I'm now pulled into the crazy of making the dinner and all the sides. I usually only brought the pies and Waldorf salad with me and my dogs. I love the different ways my sister-in-law and mom make the side dishes compared to how I make them. My sister-in-law also makes dishes that my mom or I don't, simply because we have no idea if anyone would eat it. My brother and I don't get along, but I love seeing his kids and wife. I love having the time to visit with all the family for at least a day or two.
I loved traveling for the holiday even though the bed was uncomfortable. When I've had enough of the snippy remarks from my brother and dad - I could go back to my house, watch a movie, take a nap and just relax. Because when the weekend was done and I went home, it was just me, my two dogs, my two cats and no dirty dishes or piles of laundry from the holiday guests.
I'm hoping that one day I will have a child of my own or a husband that brings me a child and the holiday will go back to what it was. Or I can use the fact that I have a family of my own to choose where to spend my holidays - With friends, with my parents and brother, or at my own home enjoying the day my own way with out worrying about making everyone else happy.
In reality, once things change they never go back. And honestly, that can be a blessing, you just have to look for it. So this year - look for the blessings in the little difficulties. . .
Embrace your family holiday. Learn to make the dishes others make. You never know, you may eventually want to have it on your own holiday table.
If you get invited to someone's Thanksgiving, GO! It's always fun to experience family traditions or holiday dishes. Show up with a family dish of your own and leave when you're ready, and all you have is a dirty dish and no one to entertain as the day goes on.
Enjoy your late holiday folks. And save a turkey! Let someone else cook.
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